The Grumpy Garbanzo vegan food for real life


Omelettes with Shiitake, Tomato, and Spinach

Let it be known that JUST Egg, in omelette–form, is not terrible. It's actually an exceptional egg replacement — you're welcome for sparing you the pun. I have made these omelettes many times, for vegans and non–vegans, and they never disappoint.

Englishish Breakfast

If you ever watch British baking or cooking shows, and you aren't British, you might understand my condition: I call it British Breakfast Envy. So, I gathered the essential aforementioned ingredients, added spinach for colorful nutrition and potatoes because why not, and made an insanely savory and satisfying meal.

Creamy Kabocha Pasta

This recipe boils down to a few steps (see what I did there?): roasting kabocha squash and removing the peel, caramelizing an onion, blending and seasoning the sauce, cooking pasta, and baking the squash skin to create a crunchy and pretentious topping.

5-Ingredient Tofu Ribs

Find a barbeque sauce that you like, and you are already halfway to recreating the experience of eating ribs. The next step is to prepare your tofu the right way for this occasion: freezing, pressing, marinating, and baking to create glazed tofu with crispy corners and a juicy, flavorful center.

Buffalo Chickpea Salad

Few things are less welcome on a salad I'm about to consume than cold, unseasoned chickpeas. Coating them in sauce and warming them up on the stove is a decent way to add flavor and protein to a salad.

Samosa Bowls

Anything that's called a 'filling' is usually the best part of a food. Take cookie sandwiches for example: it's all about that (accidentally vegan) cream. And donuts? The jelly. Tacos? I think you get the idea.It's the same story with samosas.

Roux Battered Eggplant

Roux Battered Eggplant is a classic comfort food under a new name: it's eggplant parmesan without the dairy. So, if you were expecting something fancy, I'm deeply sorry to disappoint. I hope this recipe makes it up to you.

TLT Salad

This meal idea is part of my quest to make salads—for—dinner less of a crushingly disappointing occurrence. In this salad, you get every component of a tempeh, lettuce, and tomato sandwich: the tempeh, the lettuce, the tomato, the mayo, and—oh yes—the bread.

Oat Pancakes

Whether you love oatmeal or think it's only edible while camping, you should try out oatmeal's less homely relative: the oat pancake. Made from oat flour instead of wheat, this pancake fills you up as though you've eaten a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast like a true health guru. Eat your oats and enjoy them too.

Thai Seitan Stir Fry

Seitan may not sound or look like something you'd want to discover hanging out in your stir fry. I assure you that it will not try to make devilish deals with you, nor is it a conglomeration of meat scraps.

Tempeh Taco Tuesday

Taco Tuesday is an almost perfect creation; it' s a reasonable choice for weeknight cooking that' s fun to pronounce and universally loved. But is it lacking a bit on the alliteration? Wouldn' t it be just a little more fun, and a little tastier, if we changed it to Tempeh Taco Tuesday?

Lazy Vegetable Rice Pilaf

This rice pilaf is for those times when you know you should eat some vegetables, but you're not keen on the idea of extensively tasting or chewing them. The key to eating vegetables when you don't want to: chopping them into tiny pieces and surrounding them with a comforting source of carbohydrates, like rice pilaf.

Southern Stir Fry

While I'm not sure there was any initial logic to this combination of ingredients, it seems less strange when you realize that typical southern cooking can also consist of sweet potato, sautéed greens, and a protein source. The result was a surprisingly tasty southern play on stir— fry.

Summer Vegetable Pasta

I present to you a recipe for making a recipe: Step 1) grab your reusable bags and go to the farmer's market. Step 2) buy vegetables that are in season. Step 3) cook the veggies with garlic, onion, olive oil, salt, pepper, nutritional yeast, and serve over pasta. Disclaimer– if you don't have access to a farmer's market, apply this process to the grocery store and buy local produce if possible.

Sweet Potato Stir Fry

Is stir fry making you sad? Do potatoes make you happy? If you said 'yes' to both of those questions, you should probably put potatoes in your stir fry.

Crispy Buffalo Tempeh

Tempeh is barely–processed, fermented, and makes an unsuspectingly good substitute for animal protein in American farmhouse meat–and–potatoes meals. No, folks, tempeh is not only good for Asian dishes. Go forth, and sauce it up.

Kimchi Fried Rice

If you didn't grow up eating kimchi, you might classify it as a weird food. If eating cold, slightly slimy fermented cabbage doesn't appeal, maybe try a different approach. I've successfully introduced myself to kimchi by combining it with the utterly non—threatening backdrop of fried rice.

Indian Stewed Eggplant and Chickpeas

You're at the grocery store or farmer's market and you see some beautiful purple baby eggplants. Combining the unwanted vegetable with diced tomato, garlic, chickpeas, garam masala, and serving over rice is a great way to put a weird vegetable to good use.

Lazy Falafel Salad

Disclaimer: No chickpeas were brutally ground to pieces in the making of this salad. Well, at some point they were, but not during the simple act of constructing this salad. What I'm trying to get at is this: the Lazy Falafel Salad is not a "put on your apron and individually peel chickpeas to make falafel" kind of recipe. It's more like a "here's how I quickly made an exciting salad on a weeknight" sort of a deal.

Oyster Mushroom Stir Fry

Oyster mushrooms do a spot—on impersonation of Chinese takeout beef. Just like beef schnibbles, they are chewy, savory, and a little suspicious. Unlike beef, however, oyster mushrooms don't have secrets. They aren't riddled with pieces of gristle, injected with pink slime, nor do they stem from a concealed past of pain and suffering.

BBQ Tofu & Slaw Sandwich

Vegans can, indeed, eat sandwiches. With high protein and minimal prep—time, this sandwich poses a reasonable and satiating lunch for vegans and non—vegans alike.

Mushroom Fried Rice

Leftover rice is thrilling. Whether you received an unnecessary carton from generous Chinese takeout or accidentally made two times the rice you needed a few dinners ago, tucking a container of already—cooked rice into the back of your fridge feels like a win. Until you forget about it.

Kale and Quinoa Resolution Stew

This stew is perfect for the aftermath of the holiday season. If you didn't get your monthly dose of kale and quinoa in December, no worries. This stew packs in the health, but it isn't completely heartless.

Berbere Mashed Potatoes

Let's make one thing clear here: mashed potatoes are always exciting. While there are many classic mashed potato looks that can be adapted to the vegan runway, the potatoes in this meal are going for something a little more spicy: berbere.

Carrot Ginger Salad

Two elements are necessary to make a salad satisfying: a savory component and a protein source. In non—vegan salads, meat is usually responsible for filling these requirements. However, there's no reason a salad can't be savory and protein—rich in addition to cruelty—free.

Chickpea Saag

This chickpea saag is for those of you who are intimidated by Indian cooking. Garam masala is your secret weapon in this dish because you don't need to bother with spice ratios; simply sprinkle the stuff over your chickpeas and spinach and call yourself a chef.

Cruciferous Hash

It can be a struggle to choke down those mercilessly fibrous, relentlessly bitter, regretfully nutritious cruciferous vegetables.I do realize that there are people that genuinely enjoy these annoyingly nutritious foods, and I am jealous of those people.In this dish, potatoes are our main coping mechanism.

Overnight White Bean Soup

This white bean soup is nothing fancy— but it is healthy, convenient, and filling. You don't need to make this soup for dinner— reserve that occasion for something more exciting.

Leftover Pumpkin Pasta

Baking fall and winter desserts all too often requires a measly amount of canned pumpkin, leaving you with an opened can and undesired leftovers.Let's make that struggle worth it by actually using the pumpkin in this creamy pasta with greens.

Korean BBQ Stir Fry

When you think of a stir fry, what vegetables come to mind? Broccoli tends to steal the show, due to its extreme talent for sopping up sauces. But what about cabbage?

Tempeh Tomato Sauté

Tempeh is not cute. If a lumpy hunk of fermented soybeans held together by a mysterious white film sounds less than appetizing to you, you probably have good survival instincts.

The Spinach Salad

Greens are fine and dandy, but when it comes to enjoying a salad, it's all about the toppings. You should think of this salad as robust pile of toppings that happen to rest atop a casual, and painfully unimportant, mound of spinach. Feel free to mentally photoshop out that green stuff from the picture.

Salsa Tofu Tacos

In all honesty, this recipe is the result of Covid quarantining, a lack of groceries, and the realization that I've been eating pinto beans at almost every meal lately. Sautéing crumbled tofu with salsa and spices brings a shredded chicken vibe that's a nice change of pace from bean tacos.

Italian Dressing Kabobs

The pictured veggies were once in kabob form, but I disassembled them because eating off a stick is an awkward endeavor.All you need is a dressing of choice and veggies that you don’t despise. For this reason, I did not include asparagus.

Thanksgiving Soup

Nobody wants a bowl of soup for Thanksgiving. But what about a bowl of soup that tastes like Thanksgiving on, say, an altogether ordinary weekday? Yes, please.

Tofu Scramble Tacos

This recipe is based around two culinary facts: adding a tortilla or crispy potatoes to a savory dish always makes it better.

Thanksgiving Casserole

So long as potatoes, green beans, and mushrooms can be accessed, Thanksgiving dinners can— — and should— — be had. We all know the perfect fork— full of a Thanksgiving meal involves the intimate mingling of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. So why not make one big casserole that guarantees perfect bites each time?

BBQ Tofu with Broccoli and Couscous

If you've ever found yourself stuck in a frozen—meals—for—lunch rut, you'll have an appreciation for this easy, savory, transportable meal that can be made in advance.

Pattypan Pasta

If you've never tried pattypan squash, you need to get on that.Let's talk about the pasta. I'm not a huge fan of pasta, so if I'm going to eat it, the sauce better be excellent. I've found that the best way to make pasta sauce is to use San Marzano tomatoes and cook them as little as possible.

Farmer's Market Smorgasbord

If you' ve ever eaten a tomato straight from the vine, you know that the produce you find in grocery stores doesn't always taste as nature intended. Farmer' s markets are game—changers when it comes to genuinely enjoying veggies and eating whole foods meals that require little planning.

Walnut Pizza

Vegan pizzas that are just 'normal pizzas minus cheese' are no fun. If you're not a fan of vegan cheese and you're sick of real pizza's sad, cheeseless cousin, try mixing it up with new sauces and toppings. Call this creation a pizza or a glorified flatbread–either way, it's better than a sad slice of crust with marinara.

Street Corn Tostadas

I like to think of tostadas as giant, perfect—bite nachos. We all know the difficulty of scraping up every desired ingredient onto a single chip. Chips tend to crack under the pressure and ingredients simply run away.